Pain is addictive.
No one wants to admit that they are addicted to pain, the first stage of an addict is denial. Then you have a constant battle with yourself on if it is true or not. Am I addicted? Then it is acceptance. Everywhere you go you look for pain, you want happiness but it does not feel normal. You want that pain to know you ARE normal, to know you are real; to feel alive. Pain is like a drug; you’ll do anything for it. It is invisible, it is strong, it is cheap. Some hurt themselves , some read things that have hurt them. Your mind remembers all the hurtful things people have said to you, WHY? Because pain is addictive.
Say you are casting for a play and part of your roll is to cry, what do you think of? Puppies being abandon? Kittens dying? Someone special passing away? Why? … Why not something else that will create happy tears? Like going to your favourite band and meeting the lead singer, or you winning the lottery? Because your body craves pain, you want to make yourself feel lonely and empty; it is the only way we know how to see what we really have.
Pain is, and always will be addictive. -A